Worthiness of one..

I believe, strength and maturity are virtues obtained through experiences of life rather than age. Contrast in your perspective with someone else always gives a lot to analyze about yourself. I met this wonderful girl who lived and brought up in an orthodox family but north-eastern liberal culture. North-eastern culture is no different than western culture. They live for themselves. Their philosophy had always been enjoying their lives as much as they can. On the other hand, Indian orthodoxy believes in living for wishes of either your next generation or previous generation. People make sacrifices of their own lives for the happiness of their parents and children. I can imagine, how bigger perspective a person can obtain living in these two opposite worlds. This perspective would surely give a person a temptation to discard Indian orthodoxy and live life at own free will. But, on the contrary, I found Indian values so ingrained in her that most people don't have. She was ready to make any sorts of compromises for happiness of her parents.

She came from a hard-core business family who had their traditional business for more than 100 years. Usually, such families don't carry passion for craftsmanship. They give precedence to wealth and luxurious life. They don't even seem to understand meaning of the word "passion". For them, life is all about earning well, have society reputation and have all pleasures of life. Whereas, craftsmanship is about doing one thing over and over again till it gives perfection as output and passion is the enthusiasm to be persistent on this journey till it ends. It was surprising to see her coming from such a background, entering into professional world, valuing her profession so much and carrying it so passionately.

She lives among friends where, everyday, she witnesses her friends going in and coming out of relationships. Vulnerability is the persistent phenomena that most of her friends endure. Loss of self-respect, fall for persuasion, all comes in line being happening and romantic. In this aspect, she has seen everything - loyalty, cheapness, desperation, obsession, sacrifice. Yet, she remains so untouched and so resistant to everything. If, I ever encountered anything contrast to my beliefs, I always found myself carried away in that direction. It had been miraculous to see her rejecting all opposite influences and still holding her grounds so strongly. I have found this strength quite rare.

My world was always uniform. My father is an intellectual person. Value of education and emphasis on work was always there in my family. I always saw my father putting long working hours, not for money, but because of being workaholic and for a little bit of fame. It won't be wrong to say that my whole family was careen orientated. I had no other options except the choices I made. I had to end up in a profession which gives me more satisfaction in its dwelling creativity and appreciation rather than money.

In retrospect, when I think of all the things, I count as my achievements, I did for only one reason, that all those things were tough.  My degree, my career or my mobile applications all are in line to this thought only. Somehow, my perception to differentiate substance from shallowness is based only on this one factor, whether it is in my passions or character. I am appreciated many times in my work but that appreciation never en-thrilled me. Because that appreciation always came out of need rather than gratitude. But praise of many has failed before the stand taken for me by one such girl. It makes all the difference for me from rest of the world.

I think, I finally got it...

Besides having above average mind, smart ones mark their difference from normal people in one more factor : the capability to follow their mind when emotions are overtaking them. Times come when every single bit of your mind tells you that the path you are following will not leave you happy in the end. Even when your experiences advocate that with time everything will change and you will forget almost everything. Your pain would be buried so deep down that you will hardly remember these days ever. At those times, very few are there who can follow their minds.

Even after doing a lot of achievements and earning respect in eyes of many, you don't feel fulfilled and a little importance given by someone makes your day. Your brilliant mechanical mind starts loosing its control. Driving factor of your motivation starts changing and you suddenly starts realizing "Big Truth" of happiness. When you are trying to hangout alone with someone but she asks to hangout in group and you feel sad. When someone is sharing every single secret of her life with you and you are enjoying that special position, but even after months, you realize that you are not at all that special person into her life. When you know that this will not work out at all, no matter how long you wait for her, stop focusing on your career, switch cities for her or stay unconditionally committed forever. Every single day, you are getting very clear signals to withdraw. But, still, there would be very few able to do so, that are the smart ones.

I have finally started understanding the perfect imbalanced world of smart ones. I have finally got, what is extreme happiness of companionship and unbearable pain of separation, happiness and sadness without any tangible gain or loss. I have finally got to understand the difference between smarts' and losers' world. I think, I got to know the world where I belong to.....